Entourage

Those boys from Queens are back. Yes I do mean the crew from Entourage. Vinny Chase, Eric Murphy, Johnny ‘Drama’ Chase, and Sal ‘Turtle’ Vacara. Also back are Sloan, Ari Gold, Dana Gordon, John Ellis, Mrs Ari, Lloyd, and the crew’s publicist – Shauna.

The film opened on Wednesday and the title is Entourage. The last episode of the Entourage HBO TV Series aired on September 11th, 2011. That episode was called The End. Despite the passage of 3 3/4 years in real-time in our own lives, the film resumes a mere 10 days after the last episode ended.

Vinnie and the boys plus Mr. & Mrs Ari had taken off in a private jet for Paris, where Vinnie was to wed the columnist from Vanity Fair; in another private jet, E and Sloan were off to parts unknown. In the simplest of terms, the series ended with what could only be called happy endings for all.

The film opens 10 days later in story time. The new bride and Vinny had some differences (off-screen) and agreed to jointly annul the marriage. Ari Gold and his Mrs had been ensconced in a beautiful villa overlooking the Mediterranean in Positano, Italy – but Ari couldn’t resist when John Ellis offered him the opportunity to run a film studio.

So Vinnie and the boys are heading for a party being held on a large yacht near Ibiza, Spain . Party time! Would you expect anything less – boobs and booze – after all – this is Entourage.

Flash forward some months – Sloan is expecting her and E’s new baby any moment now – but E is spreading himself around to any number of beautiful women. Turtle is still filthy rich having struck it rich with Avion Tequila.

And Vinnie? Well Vinny got a deal to both star in and direct a film with a 100 Million dollar budget – Ari’s first project as studio head. Only Vinnie has gone over budget. And they need more money.

The film within the film has been bankrolled by a Texan and this Texan has given his own son the task of seeing if the film merits more money or should they cut their losses now. The thing of it is that Vince is not all that eager to show what he’s got so far.

His line is that he doesn’t want to screen the film until it is perfect.

So that sets up the rest of the 104 minute film. We are asked to care about these five items …

1) Will Vince be able to get the funding and finish the film the way he wants
2) Will any one realize that the Texas Money-Guy’s son is a douche
3) Will E and Sloan become a couple (Sloan must get past the fact that E slept with her Step-Mother
4) Will Ari lose his job?
5) Will Johnny Drama end up on the cutting room floor? Or will it be Vince?

…plus some smaller side stories like
a) Lloyd is getting married
b) Turtle has a crush on Ronda Rousey
c) Ari and Mrs Ari hit a rough patch and consult their long time marriage counselor

Then of course there are tons of celebrities ranging from LeBron to Warren Buffett, from Mark Cuban to Pharrell, and literally dozens more.

Here’s the thing. This may be a movie and it is definitely playing all across the land on big screens. But the reality is that it is nothing more than Entourage Season 9. That’s three and a half episodes at a half hour per.

Besides that – the film has no tension. As Vince has told us for years – everything is all good. So Entourage is a whole lot more of what we watched for 8 seasons of the HBO TV series. Trust me – aside from Vinnie directing – which we do not see, and Lloyd getting married – with a Jewish Wedding no less – Mazel Tov! it is the same old Entourage schtick.

As the NY Times said – Bigger – but not better. If you are a die-hard fan of the series – then you will enjoy yourself, but I think – not as much as you might have expected or hoped for.. But in my view, this film would have had a much bigger impact if it had hit the cinema screens two and half years ago. Now it seems like a needless reunion, so Doug Ellin, who wrote and directed, and his buddy Mark Wahlberg can print more money.

That’s why I called it Season Nine. I am not going to recommend this film for general viewers and those who may not be all that familiar with the series. It is by no means a failure or a flop. It has plenty of eye-candy – the kind that walks on two legs, or the kind with four wheels that you drive, or the kind of home that you could afford to live in only if you win lotto.

What started as four guys from Queens who followed the advice that said Go West – 15 years ago, and came into our homes on TV eleven years back, is now four guys you won’t connect with. Well they did go west and they did quite well for themselves, and in doing so they’ve distanced themselves from the rest of us.

It seems that this film is a kind of Hollywood tomorrow land – a place built on fantasy. Only thing is, that this time around, the ride wasn’t all that much fun to watch. Three point zero, and that’s being kind.

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