So it was going to be a busy night on television. At 8:00 PM, following football, there was the 60 Minutes broadcast where we could listen and watch as Tony Bosch told all the stuff he knew, and we didn’t, about A-Rod, about PEDs, and about the stuff he and A-Rod did together.
Then at 9:00 PM, there was the premiere of the new prime time show on HBO called True Detective. Woody Harrelson and Matthew McGonaughey were starring as two CID detectives employed by the state of Louisiana. Which was followed by the season premiere of Lena Dunham’s Girls.
Of course there was also the power house CBS lineup of The Good Wife at 9:00 PM and The Mentalist at 10:00 PM.
Everything I just mentioned was going to be skipped or watched at another time because I decided to watch the 71st Annual Golden Globes Awards which started at 8:00 PM sharp. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were hosting.
It’s not so much that I must see the awards. Or that I had money riding on the outcomes. Or that I had to cover the event because someone was paying me to do a write-up of the broadcast on my blog. None of the above apply.
Actually it was an opportunity to see a bunch of mostly well dressed folks graciously accept awards given out by the Hollywood Foreign Press, an august body of journalists from around the world who watch films and tv. Ricky Gervais had hosted the show for a bunch of years and last year the show was hosted by the aforementioned Fey and Poehler. Actually, for me, those two funny ladies were the main drawing cards.
And they did get the show off to a wonderful start.
Poehler: A very good evening to everyone in the room and all the woman and gay men watching at home.
Fey: We are so happy to be back. We are hosting the Golden Globes for our second time. Because this is Hollywood, and if they find that something kinda works, they keep doing it until everyone hates it.
The girls gushed about the A-Listers and star actors in the room. Poehler gave ‘Tam Hunks’ a shout out . And Robert Redford likewise. Then Matt Damon was introduced by Poehler.
Matt, on any other night, in any other room, you’d be a big deal. But tonight, and don’t take this the wrong way, you’re basically a garbage person.
Fey tossed out a one liner about Meryl Streep – ‘who was so brilliant is August: Osage County, that it proved that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.’
Bradley Cooper was introduced with a joke by Fey that the original title for American Hustle was Explosion at the Wig Factory.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus was introduced as she was up for an award in movies for Enough Said and in TV for Veep.
Poehler: Interestingly, Julia has chosen to sit in the film section tonight: Both: Hi Julia, hi Julia, you know us from TV…
Tina: After the show, The Blacklist is who is invited to my room tonight. I’m talking to you, Somali Pirates [camera cuts to Barkhad Abdi who played Muse, the lead pirate, in Captain Phillips] I am de Captain nohw!
Of course there was a great line about Gravity up for best film: It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then to spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”
And that readers was the highlight of the evening. Fey and Poehler didn’t have much to do following that. Later on Kevin Bacon and his wife Kyra Sedgewick introduced their daughter who was one of the crew handing out the Golden Globe statuettes, And just then, Amy Poehler rushed out posing as Fey’s son.
Then we got about an hour and change of awards, and film clips, which for some unknown and ridiculous reason, were not afforded a full screen. They deemed that we all wanted to see some nothing special, graphic art design taking up about 20% of the screen rather than the clip taking up 100% of the viewing space,
The President of the Hollywood Foreign Press was introduced. His name escapes me. He said he was going to give a brief speech, ‘or as it is known by those watching at home – the bathroom break.’ That was a nice bit of self-deprecating humor. Fortunately, the brief-case toting honchos from Ernst & Young, were introduced but not asked to speak.
Then more awards. By the way some of the gowns were spectacular. Emma Thompson looked grand in a clingy top and a straight black skirt, so did Naomi Watts who shimmered, as did the pregnant Olivia Wilde. I liked Reese Witherspoon in a soft mint green clingy thing, and Uma Thurman looked super. Others not so much. Paula Patton wore something that looked like a filled potato sack, or a transiting swan on her shoulder, it lacked the burlap look as it matched her white gown. But otherwise – no thank you. Sofia Vergara looked fine in her strapless black number that was accented by enough ice, or is the correct term bling, around her neck to chill a dozen bottles of bubbly.
In case you were wondering, the winners were:
Jacqueline Bissett, Elisabeth Moss, Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad, Jon Voight, Amy Adams, Robin Wright, Jared Leto, Spike Jonze (Screenplay), Andy Samberg, The Great Beauty, Michael Douglas, Frozen, Amy Poehler, Woody Allen – The Cecil B. De Mille award, Alphonso Cuaron, Brooklyn 99, Leonardo Di Caprio, American Hustle, Cate Blanchett, Matthew McGonaughy, and 12 Years A Slave.
The show was flawed of course. The orchestra began playing after a minute and change of the thank you speeches by every single award winner. Not one of them got their thank you speech finished in the allotted time. Jacqueline Bisset got the first award for Supporting Actress in a TV Drama or Mini-Series. She was seated so far back in the room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel – that it took her so long to get to the stage that you could have used that time for a bathroom break. Then she had almost nothing to say as she caught her breath.
Bono gave a nice thank you speech, as he and his U2 mates did the music and took home a Globe for the music they did for the Mandela film, Long Walk to Freedom. Jon Voight once again wore a tux and white scarf as this is his usual awards attire. Was it the same scarf from the Midnight Cowboy award days? Woody Allen was a no show, and Diane Keaton gave a nice but quite long speech and a song as she accepted for him. It was a sweet moment.
Cate Blanchett and Matthew McGonaughey gave stirring speeches, and Steve McQueen, the director of 12 Years a Slave was quite unprepared.
A fun night – not as funny as I had hoped for but not as bad either. Fey and Poehler needed more screen time, you know, maybe a second monologue at the half way point, only there wasn’t enough time, so that was a major letdown for me.
Speaking of which, early on, Poehler, or was it Fey who quipped: We are going to get this show done in three hours, or as Martin Scorsese calls it Act One.
Last line of the night by Fey: Thank you everyone. This was the beautiful mess we hoped it would be.