To Rome with Love – the latest from Woody Allen

I’ve seen Rome, and I’ve seen Paris, and brother, let me tell you, To Rome With Love is no Midnight in Paris. Well, in all honesty, that’s not a new thought, it is merely an opinion already written by many who discuss films. I grafted that thought on to an even older statement that originated in the dark world of politics. That comment has been run through various word processors  by lots of people, usually emerging with the same intent, but usually about a multitude of different subjects.

In my view, TRWL was simply a case of Woody Allen raiding his own cinematic cabinet, and recycling his own old recipes. After a rather silly opening in which a Roman vigili (that’s Italian for traffic policeman) interrupts his direction of the flow of traffic to tell us that he sees all of Rome’s people in his work and they all have stories. It’s not a whole lot of words with deep meaning but it was the truth. The film is a bunch of collected stories of people in Rome. Notice I said collected and not connected.

We meet Woody Allen, he’s a retired director of operas,  and Judy Davis who play a married couple (Jerry & Phyllis) flying to Italy to meet their daughter Hayley (Alison Pill) who is taking the summer off and living it up in Roma. We join them on the plane where Woody/Jerry is a nervous wreck after some momentary turbulence. As usual, Allen is manic – the gestures, the incredibly worried look on his face – we’ve all seen this before, as has his wife. As sane and as calm and level-headed as she is, Allen’s Jerry is her opposite.

Phyllis (Judy Davis) and Jerry (Woody Allen)

Hayley, their daughter stops a young man on the street. He’s named Michelangelo, and Hayley is hoping for directions to The Trevi Fountain. The directions are a bit complex. Woody likes to use this as a way having people either meet or get lost, so it is repeated multiple times throughout the film. Turns out the Hayley and this guy hit it off and become a couple.

Michelangelo ( Flavio Parenti) and Hayley (Alison Pill)

Meanwhile in another part of town – I’m not sure, but I think the except for the usual tourist high spots – most of the film was shot in the Trastavere neighborhood, a man who routinely wakes at 7:00 AM everyday (we see this event, followed by breakfasts, at least 3-4 times) is a clerk in an office. This may be Rome, but Allen makes sure we get that men in offices, that hangout at the water cooler, are the same everywhere. They banter around, trading quips and put downs, while they can’t take their eyes off a leggy and busty secretary who raises their temperatures.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Jerry Bruckheimer and the Walt Disney outfit have just opened their 4th release in their Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, this time with Rob Marshall at the helm. This one is called On Stranger Tides. While I won’t suggest that Marshall, and Bruckheimer et al be made to walk the plank for unleashing a rusty bucket of a film on us, I can say that as you leave the theater you won’t be saying anything at all like – I can’t wait for the next one.

Yes, I’m sad to report they’ve gone about as far as they can with these buccaneers. Simply – the film is too big, too long, too repetitive, and worst of all – too familiar. It is also structured or built around a ticking clock with the main scene types repeated again and again. Which means that each leer by Johnny Depp’s Sparrow, or each pout by Cruz, or each menacing statement by McShane’s Blackbeard, are not only expected, they arrive with regularity as if on a schedule, and each loses some value the farther into the film we get. Just as we know Depp won’t lose in an early duel, we are certain he won’t perish as he leaps from a window, a boat deck, or even off a cliff

We’ll have Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow being devilishly charming, witty, wily, and almost lewd. Then a chase, an escape, and then a slashing sword-fight or duel. Characters are added in as needed, and the fights get bigger then smaller, then bigger, then smaller and you get the idea.

The three main stars other than Depp, are Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa, Penelope Cruz as Angelica, and Ian McShane as the evil Blackbeard. They’re all quite good in their roles, and the writers have given them plenty of screen time.

The story we watch on-screen centers around the quest and search for the Fountain of Youth. Which is fine. There’s a good number of folks who want to find it – Captain Jack Sparrow and Angelica, Blackbeard and Angelica, Captain Barbossa, who this time around is working for King George of England (spectacularly played by Richard Griffins), and the heads of the Spanish Armada.